She is always griping about the mess it makes all over the place, but when I explain that when it is occurring it is impossible for the male mind to be concerned with the probability of staining expensive sheets, clothing, or whatever, she gets angry. It isn’t like it’s a faucet I can just turn off; when that point has been reached, it’s full steam ahead! The last time, it just exploded everywhere, and seeing that fine linen soaked with it caused her to explode in anger; she started slapping me and saying I was a total pig. I was humiliated by her outrage over a simple biological function that I can’t control.
I can only imagine what the minister and his wife thought of her little out-of-control tantrum. After the way she acted, I bet they never have us over for dinner again. 
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What is your wife’s problem. The next time you *** do it in her hair… this way it’s not on the sheets
Ok, find some info about the male ejaculation. Have her read it. If she still acting crazy tell her this: Look either in you or in a condom, other than that, i don’t know what to tell you. She will get mad, but I bet she will do one of three things, just the f*** up, let your wear condoms or let you *** in her. Also tell her if she puts her hands on you again your gone. Hold up, you was at a minister house? Waaaiiitt a minute…whats going on here!
Yeah, I know what you mean. My ex-wife used to say afterwards, “Yuck, you are all Slimey” ………… [sic]
chagrin.
Edit: I can’t believe what Pebbles just wrote. Doesn’t she know that, “old men are the ones who do not stain things when they dance to the songs of their ancestors”?
Source: Uncle Wayne (age 66)
The way I see it, you’re the guest.
He’s the host.
Proper etiquette calls for providing for your company’s comfort and entertainment.
Just don’t invite him to your house Jack.
Every time I do, more and more of my silverware set comes up missing..
You can hold it. When you feel it start to come out, you pull out, make sure your hole hand is around it. It will just go in your hand and not all over the place. (Trust me, I know it work’s. It’s what my boyfriend does everyday.)
why are you finishing on the outside, why arnt you finishing inside her, or a condom, feels bettter, and even though theres still a mess atleast its not “exploding” all over the place?
do it in the bathroom or something. no linens there i suppose.
your wife’s being unreasonable. tell her its either everywhere or nowhere, so she decides whether stained sheets is worth a ****.
Just put it in her mouth before you ejaculate. That way it wont get things all messy. Maybe she is just upset you would get it on the sheets when she really wants to give you a ********.
Just tell the good reverend you’ll bring one of your girlfriends next time. Hell, he could call one of his boyfriends and make it a double date. Women.
If she cares that much about the fine linen, pull out and bust in her mouth, aka the “*** catcher”.
holy crap eh. thats really really reallly really werid. werid
Amen
pissing isn’t the same as ejaculation old man
Get a diaper
Why don’t you just change the sheets the night you plan on doing it to the cheap ones!
Just do it on her face. She will quit complaining.
Epic win, my friend, epic win.
It’s not “battery acid”!
You’re supposed to do that on her face, not the sheets.
Rubber sheets would put an end to that dilemma…
ahahahahhahahahah nice…get a towel or use some wipes
Tell her to back off or gtfo
Tell her to swallow.
Teach her to swallow.
I can control mine.
Just do it inside. Not so messy! =)
Hahaha!! Thanks for the giggle!
hmm…..
Lol. Your wife sounds horrible. I’d just eat it all up haha.
ew
you will need some size 37 pampers
Hmmm. Interesting