I’m going to try to keep this brief, but I think we all realize that the inner workings of a relationship and it’s problems are intricate and layered.. I could go on forever. Basically my bf and I have been together 1 year, living together 6 months. The first 6 months were mostly great- sex 3-4 times a week, going out a lot, declarations of intense feelings for each other, etc. In the six months that we’ve moved in together things have changed considerably.. determining what are natural growing pains for a relationship and whether or not I’m just being a door mat/idiot.. it’s hard to tell. Our main problems are as follows.. we are sexually incompatible now.. he admits that he has a slightly lower sex drive- he’s content with once a week- I am not. I think part of his reluctance may have to do with his frequent drinking (another problem I’m having) and the fact that recently I’ve noticed he is suffering from really bad premature ejaculation- he won’t last more than 1 minute. To add insult to injury- I confronted him about how he doesn’t give oral sex often (once every couple of months, maybe) and he finally admitted that he’s never liked it with anyone.. which has crushed me. So basically I’m dealing with constantly getting turned down for sex- he’s drunk half the time and falling asleep by 9 PM.. no oral sex (I’ve stopped giving it to him as well) and when we do have sex, it’s over so quickly. I’ve talked to him about everything (except the premature ejaculation) and although he was a little defensive, he was eventually receptive and said he’d work on things.. but things are the same. His drinking worries me- before we moved in he said he didn’t drink everyday- but he does. Anywhere from 4 beers to 10 a night. It doesn’t interfere with his job, financially, etc. so therefore he doesn’t think it’s an issue. He also has a hard time apologizing, is moody and impatient and I’m having a hard time getting past a couple things that happened in our relationship. When I try to talk to him gently about things he gets very defensive and rolls his eyes, raises his voice, etc. One of them being he got me nothing on our one year anniversary.. coupled with his lack of support for me emotionally when I was dealing with some horrible, life changing stuff. I know he sounds horrible, but with all that being said- he is quite funny and sweet at times and we have a wonderful connection. The sex thing is killing me, though.. and the alcohol.. his skin gets that sickly, sweet, booze smell coming from his pores, his eyes get bloodshot- it’s just a turn off, especially when I’m not drinking. We are having obvious problems, have been talking about them, trying to rough it out- last night he was supposed to take me to the movies (his idea).. I was looking forward to it all day..when I asked him about it he had clearly forgotten and said he had a horrible day and bailed. He does this often. Am I screwed, or do these sound like surmountable issues? I’ve talked to him about the drinking, it got a little better, but it’s still everyday. He got defensive at first, then agreed he was drinking too much. He said in the past his friends confronted him about it, but he thought he was fine now. Also, he got a dui (his first) a couple years ago. He has been making an effort in some areas- he bought me flowers a few weeks ago, has been sending occasional sweet texts again, etc.. but these things feel like bandaids on gaping wounds at this point. I know it sounds shallow, but in a way the no oral sex thing is really hard to handle for me- I’ve never had a partner who wasn’t enthusiastic about this- and it seems like a pretty standard sex practice- it’s not like I’m asking for something crazy.
Aside from the recent movie thing.. we were supposed to go away for the weekend (my idea- hoping to rekindle something between us).. well, he started complaining about how we don’t know what we’re doing yet, rolling his eyes, sighing, etc. I was trying to remain positive.. was like “this will be fun” “aren’t you looking forward to it?” “what are some things you’d like to do?”.. he was just so bratty and not into it, it hurt. I started coming up with suggestions and he just rolled his eyes and told me “no offense, but they sound like things you want to do, not me.”.. I was like “Okay, what do you want to do?”.. he continued being a jerk, said he didn’t have much money, that he was missing work for this, etc. I came up with strategies, addressed any concerns, etc. and finally told him he was bumming me out a little with his attitude and he stormed off. This is common. An apology was issued but went something like this “I’m sorry you perceived that I was being rude.”- can never take responsibility for being a douche. It sucks.
Please help, guys.

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