i’ve sort of asked about this before…but my hubby and i started having sex about a month ago (got married a month ago) and he lasts for 1-2 minutes once he’s inside of me (usually on top). i’m trying different methods (like having him orgasm once before we actually have intercourse so he lasts longer the second time) and longer foreplay, etc. but once in a while, we just go for it and he ejaculates quickly. i personally think its b/c he’s having sex for the first time ever (we were both virgins before marriage).
but could he have premature ejaculation? or is it just going to take some time until he learns to control his climax?
i’d really appreciate answers! thanks!
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Well, Me and my wife have been married for only a month too. And we were both virgins before getting married. I have two suggestions for you/him.
1)Start before him.
Literally, there is nothing wrong with self pleasure before you both “get down to work”. I would suggest teasing him (undress and fondle your body in front of him), then sit down, and start pleasuring yourself with him watching.
Don’t be fooled, this will most likely get his wheels turning, but maybe by the time he actually enters you- you will be much closer than he is to orgasm or, if you’re lucky, maybe you will have already orgasmed. Make sure he is comfortable with this, if he’s like me (and most men) he would love this. (you might even want to throw some dirty porn in there and watch it as you “play with yourself”- this will drive him crazy, but it will most likely move you along so you’ll be ahead of him when the time comes (no pun intended).
2)Encourage him to think of non-sexual things as he is making love to you.
I too try to “hold out” for my wife, I’ve found balancing the checkbook in my head, thinking about mowing the lawn, or thinking about some other meaningless, non-sexual task greatly helps in holding out for my Wife.
To be totally honest with you, I’ve asked her a few times to say other men’s names to me as we’re making love. This doesn’t totally “kill it” for me, but it most defenitely helps me back down and wait for her.
As we’ve tried these techniques over the last few weeks, we have been able, on more than one occasion, acheive simultaneous orgasms- it’s awesome.
Above all, talk to him. Express your needs/wants to him. We men can’t help if we don’t know where we are lacking. And make sure he is okay with what you want to do to make it more enjoyable for you
Have you tried being on top? I have discovered that sex lasts longer when I am in the driver’s seat. You should try it.
thunder_kok says you need to have lots of sex, eventually he should be able to hold out longer and longer
I think it’ll just take some time. I had and still have the same problem, but I’ve learned to keep going hard after I’ve climaxed and ejaculated. It’s the excitement, sometimes I’ve held out longer by just being calm and not getting too excited.
Time and practice. If he is truely interested in pleasing you then he’ll come around. If he’s only interested in getting himself off than a quick orgasm may feel just fine to him….. get the picture?
If he isn’t doing it all of the time then it probably isn’t premature ejaculation. Sounds like he just needs some experience to help him learn to control his natural reflexes a little better. Keep working with him and don’t make him feel like it is a huge problem (so he want have anxiety about sex). Keep working on it that will be the fun part and pretty soon you both will be like professionals with each other. Good luck
how old he is..sometimes age does matter.. maybe he needs to control his climax..
HE IS EXCITED. NEW TO SEX AND NEW TO YOU. KEEP TRYING WAYS TO MAKE HIM LAST LONGER. EVENTUALLY, HE SHOULD (EXCUSE THE PUN) COME AROUND. HAVE FUN BABE.
Well, its kind of too early to tell. When he ejaculates the first time, does he last longer the second attempt? I think right now it is just because he hasn’t had sex until just recently. But if it continues to be the same, they yes he has premature ejaculation.
I think its all due to inexperience…over time he will learn how to control himself better..I know it took my hub a few years!! Buy your man the book titled *The Multi-Orgasmic Man* I did and it made all the difference in the world in our sex life!!!